Housewarming Talk

My roommate and I was what my girlfriend at the time called “typical guys.” She was referring in part to the furnishings in our apartment, which was somewhat Spartan, and probably—under her breath—to our general approach to life, which was somewhat blasé.

We lived in a nice apartment house with a great upstairs/downstairs design, along with a built-in bar and picture window. We were away from home and out on our own for the first time, since we got out of high school a month or so earlier. The extent of our furnishings was a couple of folding chairs, an old couch we found by the dumpster and a pool table we hauled in and put in the living room.

My girlfriend disliked the place and didn’t like to come over. The same was true of my roommate’s girlfriend.

One evening, while knocking the pool balls around, the two girls started talking about a housewarming party as a way to get some furnishings into the apartment as well as some décor to give it more of a lived-in look. They got us guys involved and we came up with a plan—I mean—after all, free stuff!

Here’s the plan we came up with, we:

1. Invited the parents of all four of us. Also invited were our brothers, sisters and their families. Next, grandparents, aunts and uncles were invited. This immediately provided guests who had money and liked us and would likely bring gifts.
2. Rounded out the guest list by each of us inviting three of our best friends. All of a sudden, we had upwards of 75 guests.
3. Gave my mother and my roommate’s mother copies of the items we needed for the apartment. They did a great job of spreading the word to everyone else.
4. Bought food and beverages at the supermarket. The girls, with our help, made party sandwiches, peeled and cut fruit into segments and dished up several salads from the supermarket delicatessen. Several trays of cookies and brownies finished off our party refreshments.
5. Cleaned up the apartment and borrowed folding chairs and long tables from the apartment community center.

The party went off unbelievably well with more gifts than we ever anticipated. I guess everyone still thought of us young and needy. We were certainly needy! Everyone actually had a very good time and seemed happy to help us get started in life.

Every housewarming party is not an elaborate affair. Many times it takes place on a much smaller scale, sometimes just one-on-one. Years ago, my wife and I were cheered when friends from Dallas moved to Albuquerque where we had been living for several years.

We were very happy to see them and wanted to make them feel especially welcome. By the same token since they did not have other friends or relatives in town we did not feel comfortable giving them a housewarming party attended only by our friends, who were strangers to them.

As we spent a lot of time to help them settle in, we were able to get a good idea as to the style of furnishings that they had and the color schemes and so forth.

My wife and I spent some time picking out some Southwestern furnishing to welcome them to New Mexico; these included pictures, two matching lamps and a large mirror that would complement their décor theme.

We wanted them to receive the gifts at their home but we didn’t want to invite ourselves over. We launched a somewhat convoluted plan. I called and invited them over for a backyard barbecue on a weekend afternoon. My wife then prepared all of the food for the barbecue and packed it carefully for transport. I loaded our barbecue grill into the pick-up along with the food my wife had prepared. We then left our house and drove to theirs arriving well before they planned to leave for our house.

At the last minute we became nervous that they may not be happy about the change of venue, but things turned out great. We unloaded my barbecue grill and while it was heating up, he and I took the opportunity to break out all of their patio and yard furniture, clean and set it up.

By the time were done, the wives had the food ready to set out on the picnic table. We put the steaks on the grill and relaxed.

After a delicious dinner, we presented our housewarming gifts and actually helped hang the pictures and mirror on the walls and set the lamps up around the room.

My girlfriend and I attended a housewarming party for her best friend. The party was insultingly bad. I understand that getting the house in order is generally a work in progress when the housewarming party is held, but this was way beyond acceptable.

I have reasons to be as upset as I was and it didn’t help that my girlfriend defended her best friend. The purpose of the housewarming to welcome my girl’s best friend and her fiancé into a house he had managed to purchase. They were moving into it immediately.

I was unhappy from the start because my girlfriend wanted to go all out and really contribute meaningfully to the new home. In other words, she wanted to give them a large expensive television as a housewarming present. This represented a lot of hard-earned money and I wasn’t very sure the couple would stay together for the long haul. Nonetheless, I bought the television.

The following account details the problems with the housewarming party, and should serve as a lesson in how not to conduct a housewarming:

1. The yard was not in when we walked up to the house. I understand this, but I didn’t understand why the yard was full of cans and bottles, and pieces of tarpaper and aluminum flashing. I thought some time and energy should have been put in to clean it up.
2. I was experiencing doubt when we walked into the house, but was floored by what I found once we entered. The walls in some rooms were unpainted and electrical outlets were hanging out of the holes in the walls.
3. Amazingly, the electrical deposit had not yet been paid and there was no electricity.
4. Most rooms were full of unpacked boxes with clothes on hangers draped over them.
5. The bedroom had a mattress on the floor since they had already moved in and were sleeping there.
6. The kitchen was a real mess and littered with dirty take-out boxes.
7. A litter box—which had not been emptied lately—was in the kitchen by the door and at least one cat was on the loose.
8. Refreshments consisted of take-out chicken, open Styrofoam containers of coleslaw and potato salad along with cut-open packages of cookies. In other words everything was an afterthought with no regard for the guests.
9. The host and hostess had no idea what their plans were for the various rooms and I suspected nothing much would be done to improve them.

My girlfriend said her best friend and her finance were head-over-heels in love and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, leaving no time to plan for the party. She thought it was cute; the television cost almost $500 and she paid approximately $75 dollars of it with me paying the remainder. I didn’t think it was cute.

My gripe is that I believe that as a guest—who was giving an expensive gift—I deserved more time, effort and thoughtful planning than I received. I feel disrespected and cheated by the inconsiderate and rude behavior of the couple who held the housewarming party.

To add insult to injury, we barely got a “thank you”, much less a card in the mail.

I am still steamed about my girl’s defense of her friend and it remains a very sore point between us.

Housewarming party themes are all over the board. Some new homemakers prefer a lavish cocktail style party to show off a finished home. Others are happier hosting a casual get-together of friends and relatives to show a home in progress. There is yet another type of party that while entirely appropriate might best be directed at close friends and helpful relatives.

A new home is difficult for homeowners to bring up to expectation by themselves. Painting walls, ripping up carpet and repairing stairwells are only a fraction of the tasks that must be completed. Every time one task is done another seems to be created.

Use your housewarming party to enlist those closest to you to assist in the making of your home. Schedule a Saturday when the most people are available, for the “working housewarming party.” Send the invitations on a sheet of cardboard – written with a black marker and with a “fragile” or “this end up” sticker on it – with the vital information for dates, times, etc. Also include a schedule of tasks for the day and ask for an R.S.V.P. as to when and what times the “guests” would be able to attend on a “working basis.” Don’t forget to include outdoor activities such mowing the lawn, raking the gardens and painting the porch.

Make absolutely certain that all tools and supplies are ready and available for the day’s tasks. Just as essential are the refreshments. Do not skimp or think small on the type or amount of food and beverages you make available all day. People are working and need nourishment so this isn’t the time to offer weight-conscious foods. Hearty meat and cheese sandwiches, fried chicken, warm tacos, hot dogs with chips and potato salad are some suggestions. Beer, soft drinks with lots of water and iced tea are the beverages of choice. Designate someone to monitor the refreshments to ensure they stay hot and fully stocked.

Make certain you dress in work clothes and labor shoulder to shoulder with your guests. Remain patient and forgiving when guests don’t do things exactly the way you may do them.